July 19, 2018 / Nancy Diraison
Once upon a time girls dreamed of finding their prince charming — men of strength, valor, gentleness and kindness. Life seldom works out that way but the fantasies are fun. Barring extremes of bad behavior, men were traditionally admired and appreciated as protectors and providers.
Feminism took a lead role in seeing to the disappearance of the princes by attacking the very heart of femininity. By diminishing appreciation for the strengths of men and convincing women they had no need, or less need, of male partnership, the value of our differences became confused. We know the story and frankly most women never bought into the toxin but it spread anyway.
A distorted vision of “equality” was easy to sell in an age of advancing technology where tools gave women illusory abilities not bequeathed to them by nature.
Men and women may be equally intelligent. Or not. Both can drive cars, but hitching a trailer to a truck takes a lot of muscle. Men and women can both fire weapons or fly aircraft, but hand-to-hand combat draws irrevocable lines. Turning up the thermostat bears no comparison to logging and cutting trees for firewood. That is common sense. Or used to be. And there’s nothing unusual if a female supervisor in Walmart asks a male co-worker: “May I borrow your muscle for a moment?” Exactly my point. Nothing has changed, fundamentally. Except attitudes.
Women genetically have 40% less muscle than men have; reference the following article: (https://www.livestrong.com/article/246036-how-much-more-muscle-mass-does-a-male-have-than-a-female/). Train as they might, they cannot equate. When a maximum training program was conducted on 20 athletically fit women so they could perform chin-ups, only 3 could do any, and they failed dismally short of the quota.
My question is, “Why is there a problem with admitting that?” Why the delusion that competition is preferable to complementary partnership? The same woman who needs help with the heavy load, is doubtless more adept at some other task that would bore the man to death, but he won’t be making a big deal out of it. Just because men don’t.
All human beings disappoint, but experts agree that what men need most is respect; and what women need most is to be loved. When a woman rejects respecting a man, or sets unrealistic standards for doing so, she is rejecting his ability to cherish her, which is the love she needs. She is bruising his inner need to cherish her. She is not valuing him. When feeling valued the man is inspired to protect, love, provide for, treasure, prize and admire his beloved. In a word: he cherishes. It’s hard to do that when gratitude is absent.
Recently a young husband was telling his co-worker how proud he was of his wife. That morning for the first time she had relocated their truck and trailer by herself, successfully backing the trailer into a tricky driveway. Yes, there are women CDL drivers who do this with semis every day, but that was not this young wife’s experience.
Boasting to her husband over the phone how well she had done, the wife concluded with, “Now you see I don’t need a man around!”
Really? The husband posed a thoughtful question: “Honey, how did you get the trailer detached from the truck hitch?”
She answered: “I called my dad.”
This story makes the point. Gratitude, respect and honor. Give it and it will be given back to you. To be cherished, cherish HIM. He will love you for it.
Copyright 2018 Nancy Diraison/Diraison Publishing. All Rights Reserved. [Photo Dreamstime stock photo.]